|(A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.)|
|Angry Customer:||“Damn f**s.”|
|Gay Man:||“Excuse me?”|
|Angry Customer:||“You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.”|
|Gay Man:||*quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?”|
|Angry Customer:||“Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.”||(The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.)|
|Angry Customer:||*to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?”||(Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.)|
|Owner:||“I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.”|
|Wife:||“Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—”|
|Owner:||“Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.”||(The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.)|
it's as if i'm finnick, watching images of my life flash by.
and one day we were out at one of the many picnics and i was eating a cherry and i was knotting stems with my tongue and i almost choked when i saw her with the boy who would be prince because he was a fucking stunner and he brought a smile to her lips and all i could think was oh no oh no and in the late late night she and i went out into the rose thickets and she picked a white one and put it in my hair and i said, “do you love him” and she couldn’t answer she couldn’t
and her hips were like the rolling ocean and her throat was the white of the moon and her eyes were the blue of skies right at the height of noon and her lips always held onto words like they were poison and when she read my poetry it always felt like i was being touched all over my body and when she sang for me i forgot all my sorrow and we were two colliding star systems with no friction to stop us and goddamn she was like loveliness personified.
and the days ticked by and before he proposed to her he came to me and frowned and said, “i don’t know what she’d like for a ring.” and i said, “it figures” and i probably should have been shot but i helped him pick out something i would have been proud for her to wear and i went to her room that night and said, “are you real?” and she said “as can be” and when i kissed her i couldn’t stop shaking.
loving her was loving the way the world turns and loving sunrises and loving her was loving harder each and every day, loving her was loving a wild animal. it was loving an open wound.
puberty is so fucked up girls shed their inner organs and boys get to have orgasms in their sleep
(Note: Source Links in the Years)
- 2017: tumblr user thatsmoderatelyraven’s fluffy chicken makes a guest star appearance at the new president’s inauguration. “it’s been my life goal to meet you” says the president
- 2020: tumblr has tripled the amount of blogs registered. Every pun imaginable has been made, all photos of random things in rooms have been taken in HD format, all quotes have been said. There are no more recognizable url’s, even fahjtekysuleirdtyrzdsd and jiput4qwar8tgahwsf8g9bosdiv are taken. It is a dark time. The end is near.
- 2023: Arthur has just begun its 26th season
The new voice actor’s voice has become so squeaky that only Arthur fans’ dogs can hear him
- 2025: scientists are still scrambling to figure out what “zigazig ahh” is so that they can give the spice girls what they really really want
the spice girls are getting impatient
war is upon us
- 2053: a girl lays on her bed wearing vintage ugg boots. ‘I was born in the wrong generation’ she sighs as she listens to taylor swift and cries over a one direction poster.
- 2066: physical contact has been outlawed. hug dealers tenderly embrace people in the dead of night and shady people hold hands in dark streets
- 2068: Sam Winchester is 85 years old. He begins to suffer severe heart problems caused by being old as fuck. Dean gets in his motorized wheelchair and goes to the nearest crossroads at a speed of 3mph and trades his soul for Sam’s life. It is at this point that even the crossroads demons are beginning to worry about the Winchesters’ unhealthy codependency problems.
- 2088: there is only one tree left. the tree is cut down and used to make a newspaper with the headline No More Trees
- 2137: You open your tumblr profile, again after many years. You click on the message box. 1 message. You click on it.
‘Yes, same here! :)’
And you don’t know what it was referring to beacause you don’t have a fucking sent messages box.
- 3009: a group of humans listen to boom boom pow. when fergie says that she is so 3008 they all stand shocked and realise. fergie is now behind the times. fergie herself has become 2000 and late. this is unbelievable news to the humans. hours later the planet descends into war and chaos.
- 4000: 500 years after the last great war.
Humanity survives in small nomadic tribes.
One tribe has uncovered an ancient artifact from before the wars. They believe if they can solve its riddle, they may be able to unite humanity once more.
What’s amazing is how well some of these fit together…
im gonna cry
Snape, Snape, Severus Snape, DUMBLEDORE
BUT THAT IS NOT HOW IT GOES